I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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