i permit you to call me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
