im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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