And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
