It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
