where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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