They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i barfeds in our rink
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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