I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
