walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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