cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize