Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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