we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
