Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
