we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
