Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
