i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
