So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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