i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
