By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
