wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
