Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize