I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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