Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
