Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
