There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
