Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
