I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
