we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
