He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
