So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
