I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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