And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize