apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
