marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
