google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
