im drinking this country out of the recession.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
