So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
