I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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