How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
