just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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