All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize