Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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