How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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