Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize