...so i touched it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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