Swine flu. Run for my life!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize