In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
