Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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