Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
