That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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