my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
