He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
