There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
