So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize