One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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