worst night to have a conscience
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
