I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I will be naked everywhere
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
