quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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