So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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