Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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