if you like me you must not know who I am
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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