I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She bit a glass in half.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
