My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
