I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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