DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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