i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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