susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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