i think my tv is drunk
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I want her autograph on my taint
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
