I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
